“Wherever you are is called Here.”
Helping Friendly Newsletter, 06.28.30
Every other Friday, I share 5 things to consider. On the Fridays between, I mix things up. This is a 5 Things Friday.
GM! ☕️
Programming note: This newsletter is taking a summer vacation. I’ll be back in your inbox on July 19.
Here are this fortnight’s 5 things to consider:
In the escalating swirl of the election and with so much to lament in human affairs, I find orientation and calm resolve in David Wagoner’s “Lost.”
- teaches that compassion moves us closer to others in their suffering, so they (and we) feel less alone. By contrast, pity separates us. To show up for a friend who’s going through something, lean into Martin’s beautiful guidance:
[Folks who do this well] “ask questions that feel like they are meant for true understanding and tools of insight in order to better offer support. They bring nourishing meals without fanfare or the expectation of thank you notes. They find quirky and boring ways to make my load lighter—research, repairs, childcare. They never make me feel like they are apart from me, even if they’ve never been through this particular sacred terror. They encounter me with an air of tender normalcy, not making my shitty hand into the headline of my whole existence, but not ignoring it either. They seem to be saying, with their gentle witness, I see that you’re in a season of a certain kind of hell. I don’t know what it’s like. But I know you. And I love you. And I’m here for all the parts.” —Courtney Martin
I’ve been learning about the intersection of queer liberation, AIDS activism, and medical marijuana from Ellen Scanlon’s How to Do the Pot.1 The podcast’s Pride series highlights cannabis use for palliative care during the height of the AIDS crisis in San Francisco. And, wow, are these stories moving. Together, they teach the value of compassionate care, make a case for good risk, and honor the courage and dignity of patients and caregivers. There is so much tenderness and generosity in this chapter of LGBTQ+ history.
“That’s real power and real strength: to be who you are, whether or not it’s acceptable to other people.” — Alia Volz, Home Baked ♥️🧡💛💚💙💜
Chaplain
outlined 7 stumbling blocks to self-care. I know them well!
Rabbit hole: Perusing Bomb Magazine’s interviews, I discovered a conversation between musicians John Tsung and Louie Perez (Los Lobos). I looked up John Tsung (new to me) and love the songwriting on his album Empire Postcards. I was already a fan of Los Lobos, but I didn’t realize Perez is also a visual artist. So, I went hunting for his work—and that led me to True North Gallery, which features paintings by Perez alongside art by other musicians like Janis Joplin, Ringo Starr, Leonard Cohen, and Miles Davis. Perez describes his purpose as “a need to gather stories and give voice to the small things, the overlooked things that are so vital and yet common for many people.” ✨
Happy anniversary, AJ!
Happy 🔥TWENTIETH🔥, Andy Jaspen! Best decision ever.
ICYMI, this newsletter is taking a summer vacation and will return on July 19.
Thank you for reading! This newsletter is a labor of love. 💌 To support it, you can upgrade to a paid subscription (coming JULY!), share this post, or engage my services. You can learn more about my work at jenniferlphillips.com.
Peace,
Jenny
P.S. das the stuff👇🏼
Ellen is a longtime friend! Thank you for putting these stories into the world.